kepam dan lemau

lately terasa diri tersangat kepam dan lemau. err.. not sure whether it's the right words or not.

badan lenguh. otak penat. hati gusar. kepala pusing.

too much things to do. too much things to think.

1) dissertation - 15 days to submission
2) shipping barang2 - 50 days to go back << belum decide mode mana
3) europe tour - 36 days to go << belum book hotel & belum study mana nak pergi
4) extension cuti - belum lulus!!!!

nampak gaya, kena guna prinsip KAB (kemahiran amalan belajar) yg blajar kat MRSM dulu kot. kita apply prinsip FIP (first important priority) << dahsyat ni, mcm mana bleh ingatlagi ni? :P

so, kalau dihitung2 hari, nampak gayanya menurut prinsip FIP, item no. 1 lah yg perlu diberi perhatian dulu. haruslah aku bertungkus lumus siang malam. dah lama tak tgk TV, tak pergi Tesco, tak jalan2 kat park, tak keluar shopping, dan sekarang tgh berpuasa fb. huhuhu lalallala

item no. 2 dan 3 rasanya nak outsource kat hubby. sbb tugasan "penting" dia dah setel with BIG smile :)

item no. 4 dah mintak tolong kat Pn. R. Seb baik ada Pn. R yg baik hati!

okeh dah2la tu membebel. sambung buat kejelah..

CK lagi (siri 2)

sambil pening2 lalat mengarang research methodology utk project..

jom jamu mata dgn tangkapan CK from Bicester Village..

passport holder with matching keychain

yg bunga2 mama punya, polkadot pink aisya punya..

sorry yer papa and faris, pattern yg tinggal utk gegirl jek..

make-up case utk kak elin

and lagi satu toiletries bag lupe nak tangkap gambar. so, ni saje utk kali ini..

sekian terima kasih.. :)

sangat tidak sabar

lagi 2 hari saya akan bebas dari semua assignment yg sgt2 menggugat jiwa raga selama almost 1yr. sgt2 tak sabar ok. i'm trying hard to finish the last assignment with full blast effort. hopefully resultnye nanti worth the effort.

nampaknya, selasa depan bolehla menjengah ke bicester village sbg reward kpd diri sendiri.. hmm, nak beli apa ye? or maybe ke stoke-on-trent menambah pinggan mangkuk maybe.. dah kena mula berangan ni..

semput

huh.. semput ok siapkan assignment yg ke 8 daripada 9. tak tidur cukup 24 jam. kalau takde dateline, sure tak siap lagi assignment ni. hahaha teruks (sgt teruks ok!)

mcm tak caya je, dah nak habis 1yr dah kat sini. sure miss gile cuti setahun yg best takyah pk keje ni. hehehe.. lagi 1 assignment kena siap before end next week. then vamonos ke wales. cuti2 caravan. (sian aisya tak ke mana pon school break 1 week. sori ye sayang, mama bz)

hmm.. mana nak pegi lepas ni ek? europe belum jejak lagi ni. asyik jln dlm uk jek. paris ke italy dulu ek? (sambil tangan menyeluk saku yg kosong huhuhu)

Good news Vs Bad news

Smalam ada berita baik dan berita kurang baik.

Lemme start with the good news first. My Aisya has progressed so well at her school. Yupp Aisya, mama lama tak blog pasal kamu sbb mama bz sokmo. Bz apa pon tak tahu la. Papa mesti cakap mama bz online window shopping. Hehehe.

So, today Aisya will receive the rainbow star point award during her school assembly. Actually the star point award tu almost every week pun dapat. Nothing special pun. But I like the way the school here rewards their students. All of the good behaviours and show of improvement will be awarded. But not in material form, just a piece of coloured paper. Cthnya, diroang akan dapat star point kalau habiskan meal or helpful with friends or progresses well in reading/writing or adjusting well to new environment, all sorts of them. I think they believe praising the kids for the good behaviours will make the kids do better and better in all sorts of things and improve their self-esteem. Tak sabar nak bukak kindy yg macam ni kat Mesia nanti (angan2 kena ada hehehe)

So, berbalik pada Aisya, rainbow star point tu maknanya dah pangkat tinggila, sbb star point diberi ikut colour code. But the more exciting news is Aisya said her teacher Miss Kaur told her that she’ll be transferred into Year 1 class next week. I’m still sceptical about this news, but for the time being I just accept it. Maybe we'll ask Miss Kaur some time during this week. Actually it’s good for Aisya coz now she’s placed in Foundation class (mcm tadika) sbb dia lahir in October sedangkan school start in September. Ni kes macam org lahir bulan January la. Since Aisya dah banyak blajar kat TM Taska, agak rugi dia join this group. For English learning, join mana2 group pun ok sbb dia still akan learn a lot. But for Maths, dia macam restart balik. Since mama love maths so much, mama nak anak2 mama pun suka maths gaks (hehehe mama psycho)

Enough said of the good news, which actually healed my sorrow heart a lil bit. Actually yesterday I received my 7th assignment mark and it was so awful. I was so devastated that I now plan to change my strategy for my Msc. It was way below my expectation. I knew I didn’t do so well like the previous modules, but I don’t think it was that bad. Hahaha. Tula padan muka siapa suruh ambil enteng. The mark is one thing, but the comment given is another thing, I found it was too short and too brief for my low mark. So, to satisfy myself, I emailed the tutor (a Dr. perhaps) and asking for explanation. And since the mark is so low, it drags my overall average marks, which make me impossible to get distinction (distinction means average >= 70). I still have 2 more assignments to submit and I don’t think I can get extremely high marks for them (kena dapat 76 minimum). Macam ni la kalau assignment tu all wordings and marking is so subjective. And in order to get Msc with distinction, I need to get distinctions for both assignments and projects. Macam mustahil, bolehkah?

So, now it’s time to change my strategy. Kalau sebelum ni strategy nak dapat distinction, sekarang ni strategy nak dapat Msc jer and nak jalan2 and enjoy my several months left in UK!!! So this weekend, off we go to Manchester (again) nak makan nasi dagang Yat and nasi Arab kat Jazeera (kecur air liur dah ni)! Kalau sempat menyelit, nak shopping kat Cheshire Oak outlet sementara rate tgh RM4.6+ per pound. Then on the way back nak singgah Stoke-On-Trent mengintai Pot Meirion or apa2 set pinggan mangkuk nak diangkut balik Malaysia. Then nak enjoy time dgn hubby and family sementara cuti panjang masih belum habis. Picnic, bbq, caravan, name it. Dah start kerja nanti tobat bz balik cam sebelum ni. Plannya nak gi Europe tapi tix takde yg betul2 menarik buat masa ni.

Tapi 2 assignment yg berbaki and dissertation project akan ku buat bersungguh2 juga. Cuma maybe tak sestruggle sebelum ni sampaikan kena tidur kat library. Apa2 pun, syukur tak pernah fail lagi. Ada gaks member2 yg fail and kena ambil extra subject or resubmit new assignment, which will consume another 3 weeks for them. Macik tak sanggup nak gi kelas lagi & buat balik assignment. Life must go on. Yg lepas tu biarla lepas. Kan kan?

the implant and the mood-less

(gambar di sebelah adalah hiasan semata2 dan tiada kaitan dgn entry ini)

2-3 hari ni rasa teramatlah tak ada mood utk blajar. cemana nih? assignment nak kena siap cepat before cuti2 easter. adakah terkesan dek pemakaian implant? uh uh

oh ye. actually lenganku baru dipasang benda asing bernama implanon 2 hari lepas. saja gatal nak cuba, pastu masa nurse tgh masukkan kat lengan, rasa nyesal tak sudah sbb sakit. huhuhu. actually takdela sakit sgt, but ngeri gak la procedure tu. kat sini free jer pakai contraception, not sure semua jenis free or ada yg kena bayar. maybe yg terlebih advance ada kena bayar. apa2 pun, daku perlukan keselamatan terjamin selama kat sini. before this i'm on pills but biasala, asyik terlupa.

so, setelah bertanya kakak2 yg dah expert bab2 ni, ku gagahkan diri utk mencuba. hu hu. so far tak penah nampak mak buyong kat library ke, kelas ke. so, tanakla jadi sejarah kat sini, dahla blajar pun setahun je. hi hi

kembali kepada moodless, actually rasa exhausted dgn assignment berderet nih. letih bab kena baca journal. muak sgt2 dah. so, pagi tadi masa tgh moodless tu, hati terdetik nak pegi shopping kat town koboi coventry. almaklumla, stok baju pon dah tahap nazak dah. asyik pakai baju sama je gi lib hari2. bosan2. setelah berkira2, rasanya kalau pakai baju baru, maybe bleh dapat mood utk blaja. hohoho (alasan utk shopping)

so, tangkapan hari ni, 3 helai blouse & 2 cardigan.. cardi yg ada pun dah berbulu, so it deserves a change. teringin nak beli baju2 spring yg berbunga bagai, tapi mcm tak banyak yg murah. tak kesahla, yg penting ada persalinan baru utk musim bunga. walaupun bajuku takde bunga, hatiku tetap berbunga2 ok :P

i need a break

now pukul 2.56am, baru lepas submit assignment ke-4. ada lagi 3 menanti. huhu. sgt2 tak sabar nak submit those three, sebab lepas tu nak ber-caravan vacation ke cornwal with big bro & close friends! harap2 dah spring & cantik time tu. weather skrg sungguh2 tak keruan. today snow, tomorrow sunny. tak sempat buat snowman pon sbb dah melting.

hemp. daku blank tak tahu nak tulis apa. kepala dah pusing sbb tak cukup rest. esok i need to pay back some time to hubby and kiddos before i get bz again. kesian diorang, terperap kat rumah je. nampak gaya before cornwal kena gak plan short vacation, tapi ke mana ye? kalau sunny, london maybe?

oh ni masa adhoc picnic kat kenilworth, dekat jer, 15min from rumah tapi tak penah sampai. what a beautiful place! sunny2 pon sejuk tuh. the kids were so excited sbb dah lama tak main kat playground. next sunny day i shall go again this place! picnic & a novel, perhaps. oh i miss novel. asyik baca journal je, naik muak dah. huhuhu :)

gerammm..

dah lama tak update sini. nak kata bz tak sgt, bz jalan & shopping jela kot. kelas next week baru start. supposedly dah kena cari tajuk project but tak buat pape lagi. takutnye, tapi takde mood lagi sbb masih tak settle down betul2 lagi (alasan). hoho

actually tgh geram kat satu agent rumah ni. rumah dah elok2 booked with booking fees pon bleh bagi kat org. dia cakap landlord yg sewakan. geram betul. rasa mcm diperkotak-katik je. i know i'm not white but i'm still a human & i've got feelings too ok. sejak sampai uk saya tak rasa pon mcm nak nangis sbb homesick or whatnots, but smlm lepas agent tu bagitahu rumah dah tak ada, terus berderai airmata. my hubby & kiddos are coming lagi 2 weeks and i have no shelter for them yet. rasa hopeless sangat. and rasa cam nak gugur jantung macik. sbb tula org cakap "kita hanya merancang"...

bila pk balik, maybe ni dugaan or maybe ni balasan. bila duduk negeri org, terasa kerdil sgt diri ni. maybe masa kat malaysia semuanya ambil mudah sbb semuanya senang, semuanya mewah. bab bersyukur pon ambil mudah. maybe Allah nak tunjuk, ada masa kita di atas, ada masa kita di bawah. ya Allah, takutnya saya. kak balkis suruh saya sabar & redha. mungkin rumah tu bukan terbaik utk saya & family. kebetulan smlm ada newspaper free, so kak balkis terus belek newspaper column house to rent. and suprisingly, tetiba jumpa iklan rumah yg 1st skali kitorang view awal bulan hari tu. rumah tu patutnya dah let by tapi tetiba available balik. heran. mungkin ni jodoh utk saya? mungkin kan?

cepat2 kak balkis call house agent (yg lain) minta viewing. and cepat pula dapat feedback, terus boleh view ptg smlm juga. slalu2nya susah nak schedule appointment dgn mereka2 ni. since i dont have much choice, eventhough mahal sedikit if compared to the size, i really feel i need to take this house. so pagi tadi, awal2 pagi lagi kak balkis & me pegi town office house agent tu. fuhh, alhamdulillah takde org grab lagi. i pay the booking fees and pray hard hoping that the credit check process wont take long & succeed. takutnya saya ya Allah. semoga Kau permudahkan segala urusan hambamu ini. ameen.

moral of the story, kita hanya mampu merancang, Allah juga yg menentukan segala perjalanan & keputusan dlm hidup kita ni. so, jgnlah kita lupa, alpa, riak & sombong dgn apa yg kita ada. ada masa kita di atas, and ada masa kita boleh tersungkur. beringat2lah ye..

p/s: tahniah to my ex hosmet yg khabarnya sudah conceive lagi.. jaga diri baik2 ok? :)

p/s2: sekadar gambar hiasan penyejuk hati.

When the Letter of Offer = Offer Letter

Alhamdulliah, syukur sangat.. hohoho seronot seronot (feel like jumping yeay!!) finally the offer letter that i've been waiting for arrived safely last Monday.. suka sangat2 sbb it's an UNCODITIONAL offer, in which i don't have to re-sit for any English exam.. in which tak melayang another rm500 ku! ku tak sangka my 2002 IELTS result yg dah berhabuk tu still laku & accepted by the university (walaupon haram tak hingat apa ke soklannya.. he he)

all in all, i've received 3 offer letters, 2 unconditional + 1 conditional - warwick, manchester & southampton.. and i've certainly made my decission already; it will be Warwick and fullstop! no more headache nak pilih which course & which Uni ok? and it will be MSC International Technology Management.. why that course? i guess i will tell one year from now.. he he

if initially just suka2 jer nak further study, now i'm more determined of what to study and which University should I go.. i've been going through piles of interview sessions and that cost me a lot too - you know - new pants, new shoes, new tudung - just to have that good feeling during the interviews.. hohoho

i went to 4 interviews altogether - with YTM, MARA and Yayasan Khazanah Nasional (2 sessions & the toughest one I must say) and the experiences were priceless and that includes the frequent adrenaline attack!! and thanks so much to hubby for your accompany and support, including proofreading all my essays and proposals.. without you, i don't think i could make it up till now.. you're the best lah!

so now, only the CTG (cuti tanpa gaji) approval letter that's still pending, just because my AGM noted to HR that she needs an immediate replacement.. but i've talked to her already and I popped the idea of having internal job rotation & movement (my post is soo important to her) and she agreed.. phew... will draft a letter saying that the bosses will release me at no condition tomorrow and hoping to get fast response from the HR too..

so little time - so many things to do!!

p/s: pinch me hard plz!!! pray for my smooth journey okay?

decission, decission and more decissions..

again i have to made tough decisions..

if before, nak kena decide whether nak sambung blaja ke tak, that decission dah over.. then nak decide nak buat local or overseas, that decission also dah over.. for info, i've applied for ytm, mara & yayasan khazanah.. and since i managed to get only mara, it's easier to decide whether to go or not to go.. (i must say it's a tiring year full of interviews =)

but now, since i've applied for 3 universities and 2 have positively answered, i've to decide to which university i'm going since the courses are all different.. and since mara only sponsor for the student only, i need to decide whether to take my family along for the whole one year or to go alone for the first several months and let them come later.. is it possible for both me and hubby to take unpaid leave? possible memang possible, but financially, can we manage it? hohoho..

2 budak nak kena tinggal.. sanggupkah saya?

sometimes, hati kecilku berkata-kata, "tula siapa suruh apply?".. but hati besarku pon berkata-kata juga, "this is what i want!".. hubby menyokong penuh apa jua decissionku.. so, i need to do all the calculations and justification so that i could bring them all with me.. i'm surely cannot afford to live without them even for a month! especially the kids.. hohoho.. (marah hubby kalau dia tahu..hehe)

btw, i've submitted my unpaid leave application to my GM, and now waiting for the GM's approval.. harap2 dia approve.. semoga segala perancangan nak further study ni berjalan lancar.. ameen..