sesak nafas & holiday

now is a hard trying time for me, kena placement kat unit yg dulunya aku selalu komplen, now terkena kat hidung sendiri *padan muka

baru balik dari oustation di Terengganu (Isnin) dan Kuching (Rabu).. kiranya sempat balik rumah kejap utk keluarkan baju busuk dari bag and masukkan 1 persalinan bersih.. sampai rumah, budak2 dah tidur, and pagi Selasa sempat kejut Aisya utk kiss2 and hug2 sambil dia mamai2.. dia pon dah pandai komplen "mama tu asyik work jer.." sobs sobs.. mama tak minta kerja camni tau sayang.. insyallah i'll make some time for you in the wiken..

hari ni seb baik cuti, Alhamdulillah.. dapatla rilex sket.. patutnya esok ke Batu Pahat, but since hubby kena gi outstation utk kali pertama, bolehlah bagi excuse kat bos utk tak pergi hehe.. semoga aku berjaya mengharungi 2 tahun duduk kat unit ni.. then nak mintak tukar, tak sanggup duk lama2.. kalau tak boleh tukar unit, maybe akan consider tukar kerja ke tpt lain..

apa2 pun, enjoy the holiday! petang ni nak pergi taman tasik bagi makan ikan.. baru lepas main monopoly junior dengan hubby & Aisya and mama kalah teruks! tak sangka kakak nyer kira2 dah improve banyak! well done my darling! and thanks to Cikgu Fairoz sbb rajin mengajar kakak :) love you ols.. xoxo

November rain..

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya berjaya menempuh bulan pertama after come back to working life.. tajuk tu takde kaitan pon, cuma teringat kat lagu Nirvana sejuk2 petang2 ni hehe..

1st ~ the new placement.. walaupun pada mulanya agak tidak teruja dan tidak bersemangat utk bekerja di tempat baru atas sebab2 tertentu, i need to cubit myself sbb Alhamdulillah, saya masih punya kerja yg stabil.. tak baik banyak merungut ok.. bagusla kalau org masih perlukan kita walaupun dalam hati dup dap dup dap tiap kali meeting sbb semua perkara yg dibincangkan mcm alien sangat2.. but today, i've learnt a lot & i'm a happy chap! thanks to Allah for the hardworking and brilliant staffs that i have.. :)

2nd ~ the kiddos are coping well at Taska T*, walaupun 2 minggu pertama banyak sungguh drama pagi hari.. sekarang dah takde masalah tinggalkan diorang pagi2, they make friends and enjoy a lot.. Alhamdulillah, hilang pening kepala..

3rd ~ work nature kali ni memungkinkan saya outstation dengan jayanya.. kalau dulu, kerja saya hanyalah di sekitar central & northern, kali ni kena jaga the whole Malaysia.. so far last week dah outstation ke Penang (meeting on Ahad) dan JB (meeting on Khamis).. penat jugalah sbb dari Utara ke Selatan in a week. yang penting hubby sangat2 memahami, dan dia juga faham position ini bukan saya yg mintak.. thanks B!

4th ~ of the slipped disc.. so far i've done the MRI, 2 weeks physiotherapy, and smlm jumpa balik specialist.. yg tak bestnye, i'm still having numbness and weakness.. Doc suggest buat minor surgery (yg cucuk jarum tu jer) or open surgery.. 2-2 pon menggerunkan ok.. so now, i'm planning to go for 2nd opinion at Damansara Specialist or SDMC.. i tak nak jadi statistic, kalau statistic yg success takpela, takut yg sebaliknya je huhu

5th ~ new KPI is set for the family. tiap2 hari akan cuba sampai ofis before 8 agar takde siapa2 yg punch card lewat, and kalau boleh nak parking for free (jimat rm7/day = rm140/month).. and petang plak nak ambik kiddos latest by 6, and sampai rumah by 730.. setakat ni kitorang selalu dinner kat rumah jer, sbb malas nak mkn luar.. budak2 pon dah penat seharian kat school.. food range biasanya nasi & lauk sempoi (masak sendiri), atau tapau nasi lemak/kfc.. tak pun panaskan jer apa yg ada dlm peti.. hehe weekend pula nak balik kampung, lawat sanak sedara & kawan2, or just hang out watch movie dgn anak2.. tak pon jalan2 kat lake garden..

sekarang ni, quality time is our main priority.. pada saya, duit banyak pon tapi kalau hati tak tenang, anak2 tak gembira, family porak peranda, takde maknanya.. so, biarlah berwasatiah sahaja dengan apa yg ada.. yg penting, hati tenang, jiwa damai.. kan kan?

bersyukur

alhamdulillah.. co. baru annouce and distribute bonus for 2009 performance. suprisingly, different LOB get different amount of bonus in order to promote competition between LOBs. for me, that will be an efficient reward system if everyone is honest with their performance reporting. hopefully this new system will encourage everyone to work harder than before, less kopi2 time, gossip2 and sesi jualan langsung!

bersyukur.. tu je yg mampu terlintas kat fikiran. sepanjang kehidupan yg dah nak masuk 30an ni, tak ternilai nikmat kehidupan yg Allah bagi. baik dari kesihatan, mahupun pelajaran, kerjaya dan kewangan. alhamdulillah, marveles! paling bersyukur Allah bagi ketenangan hati, which is rasanya sangat2 bermakna. yelah, ada orang harta duit menggunung, mampu beli itu ini, tapi hati sentiasa tak tenang. ada juga yg berpangkat tinggi, tapi jiwa kacau, tak pernah tenteram dengan apa yg ada. paling takut, hasad dengki dan busuk hati, nauzubillah. biarlah hartaku tak menggunung, pangkat setakat yg ada, yang penting hati tenang, jiwa aman. macik tak kacau orang, orang tak kacau macik. semoga Allah lindungi kami (dan kamu) dari segala penyakit hati..

oh ye, back to perkara perenggan pertama (bonus), rasanya tak pernah merasa reward sebanyak ini dari co. walaupun hanya dapat 9/12, it is way more than what i expected. so, bolehlah mengcover ketiadaan bonus tahun 2010 (ulalalala). di kala member2 bz dengan perancangan belanjawan bonus, i pula masih tiada plan. tapi yg pasti, nilai bonus dah pun susut tanpa perlu ada apa2 plan (teruk kan?). online sales sgt2 menduga nafsu shopping i, yg biasanya susah nak datang anginnya. tapi bila sekali melanda, macam ribut taufan yg tanpa henti pula tu. but i think i'm still being a bit frugal here. what i spent on is mostly for future investment. memandangkan nilai pound yg menurun dan harga barangan di malaysia yg over-priced, sangatlah wajar i spend sedikit especially utk barang2 keperluan asas mcm pakaian dan kasut. tak salah kan? semoga musin sales cepat2 berakhir, kalau tidak, time break je jengah mcm2 'kedai'. sakit mata macik tgk itu semua. makin nipis poket macik taw. huhu

berbalik pada tajuk asal, harap2 dengan limpahan nikmat yg Allah bagi, bertambahlah ingatan dan amalan kami padaNya.. dah psg niat, balik Malaysia nanti nak banyakkan bersedekah pada yg kurang bernasib baik. amalan ni selalu arwah mak amalkan (Alhamdulillah), so entry ni purposely utk ingatkan diri sendiri (dan kamu, ok). sedekah tak semestinya dengan wang ringgit atau harta benda shj, sedekah tulang empat kerat tolong orang susah pun mungkin lagi banyak pahalanya jika dibuat dengan ikhlas. cthnya, tumpangkan kereta kat makcik yg sedang jalan kaki tgh panas, tolong oku lintas jalan, sedekah baju2/toys lama (yg elok) pada rumah anak yatim or saudara-mara yg kurang mampu, sedekah or quran or sejadah pada surau/masjid/ofis/sekolah. mcm2 kita boleh buat kan? sedekah doa pon boleh, sedekah nasihat pon ok. semoga dengan banyak sedekah, hati semakin tenang, happy and humble.. yg penting, kena ikhlas ok..

kalaulah kita rasa tak cukup dengan apa yg kita ada, masih ramai hamba Allah yg kurang bernasib baik dari kita dan memerlukan pertolongan. semoga sumbangan kecil kita membawa seribu makna pada kehidupan umat yg lain..

tak percaya?

i am supposed to struggle with my 6th assignment essay by now. but i think it's a worth 5minutes break to make this note, at least to myself..

alhamdulillah, i've been working with the co. for 7 years by now. and i've been granted scholarship twice already by the co. again and again, alhamdulillah. for the past years, i've been working hard, at least to my own standard. but every time the evaluation result came out, i didn't get what i thought i should. but usually, i'll tell my little heart "it's ok, your time will come. maybe u need to work harder and just be patient"..

and usually it turned out ok with me, not until my 6th year's evaluation, which i thought i really deserve to get more than i got. i cried. i sulked. i asked myself "what's wrong with me?". everytime i did a good job, they pat my back. but when it's evaluation time, i'm no more than average. my heart broke and i went to see the bosses. my boss calmed me down. she told me to be patient. she said, insyallah, my rezeki will come.

then, i thought maybe i should take a career break to regain my motivation and passion to work. and alhamdulillah, after series of attempts, now i'm here! it was an enjoyable career break with piles of assignment :). and for 2009, i didn't expect superb result. i just want to be treated fairly, that's all.

but today, my boss emailed me and broke the happy news! it really makes my day. and now on, i'll be on the right track again. after school, i'll work harder and will make the co. proud of having me, at least to my own thot! :) haahahahaha


i'm so jumping now!
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and still jumping! toing! toing!
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